Words I have to say
The self-help content you crave can now be yours for the low, low price of complete subservience to my every Simple Explanation, and some laughter wouldn't hurt.
When I was a boy travelling around the world with Amelia Earhart, I knew the world needed something different than just another success story. Whatever happened to Amelia I'll never tell, but her bones were used to pen the very first draft of my newest machination: Simple Explanation - Thinking.
The act and art of thinking can be daunting for those that are new to the game. Thusly, I have endeavored to make the transition from trilobite to thinker-bite a seamless laugh riot. You will learn as you chuckle quietly from your bathroom throne. Tears will stream as you come to grips with the identity of your long-lost loved one's appearance on your favorite game show. Nothing will make sense.
But that's precisely where you need to be - open, mewling, and vulnerable. Once there, we build you back up with the finest parts the Arby's dumpster can offer into a thinking, deciding, inter-colliding machine.
You can expect many more of these pocket-sized nuggets of wisdom to appear in the wild's of Amazon (sorry) a few times a month. I do hope you'll find them illuminating enough to push you to the end of you 30 minute bathroom break.