The new age of SimpleShutIn has ripped out of my chest, revealing a surprisingly chewy center for the world to munch upon.
Yes, the sunlight was blinding when I clawed my way out of the caved-in basement. No, the pile of newspapers on my doorstep gave me no good news to speak of. Maybe I did have three donuts for breakfast and dunked them in ketchup. What are you, my lord and savior?
After scraping off my bed sores, I am a surrounded by a halo of intergalactic ideas that need expression. Stars and nebulas fight me for control. I am a moon with too much gravity, and my strawberry-flavored planetary core is raining down upon every planet at once.
Luckily, there's plenty of juice to go around, chumps and chimps.
The point of this tortured metaphor is to proclaim my intention to drive my bus full of ideas straight off the cliff of productivity. Wait, that was another metaphor...hm. My flower blossoms like a - no, that's no good.
Me do many thing. There, that nails it.
The literal bullet points of those projects and their individual timelines can be found here. The lengthier exposition on each project will come as those stars come closer to staring in my early 2000s apocalypse movie. The closest stars are as follows:
Simple Explanations - The first salvo into the wild, wide night are these very helpful, funny-bone-tickling bites of readership. Before my transition from alien to human, I wrote many a wonderfully thicc tome. Well, three tomes, which is three more than you've ever written. Now, that gap will be widening with these pocket-sized diving rods with the idea being to release one or two a month depending on how much blood I donate.
End The World - Mushing my many wonderful chihuahuas through the sandy beaches of Nova Scotia, I came across an ancient stone box wrapped in Nordic symbols. I naturally shotgunned it open to reveal a nugget of retro delight. The GameBoy was a fun little wind-up toy that is a mighty oak of nostalgia, so I decided to boost the green-and-black graphics for my own uses.
I used the lovely engine GB Studio - the coding version of a drag-and-drop website creator. It's incredibly user-friendly for an engine only able to handle 3-4 colors, and loading it up with any more than a moderate amount of variables means you can count the frames with a stopwatch, but I digress. For any looking to even dabble in video game creation, there is no better sandbox to start with.
Meanwhile, End The World is a story-rich experience with beautiful, dark music and an undeniably gothic tone. There's gripping artwork from real artists (not me) and an eye that moves. You can see for yourself as End The World launches near the end of October.
More is coming in October, including social links where my social self will be more social (as long as I don't have to talk to anyone). That and other projects will be gradually coming together until I die hunched over at my desk and/or snatch a case of dementia. As each of them come up, I'll be posting more frequently about individual launches, details etc etc.
For now, my face is blue and my mouth is filled with faux fish sticks. Your continued enthusiasm is appreciated, but if you could pull just a little more weight on your side, I'd appreciate it. No? Okay, fine, then just sit there and be entertained! Jerks.
In the meantime, you...are welcome.
This website uses marketing and tracking technologies. Opting out of this will opt you out of all cookies, except for those needed to run the website. Note that some products may not work as well without tracking cookies.Opt Out of Cookies