A month of prototyping and head-scratching will eventually lead to good things, but for now just has me swirling in a jacuzzi of mental acid.
Someone important and wearing a fluffed garment of some sort once said that "The hardest work is the work no one will ever see." I hate them and wish their resurrections via blood funeral somehow reincarnates them into the studio apartment of horseshoe crab shells.
Also, they're not wrong. Everyone learns differently and processes differently and differents differently, which is why you don't often see people live-streaming dev work or letting it all hang out there raw and wriggling. After all, who wants to take time out of their creative process to relate it to someone else's creative process?
I don't know that I care enough about another random person's opinion on a W.I.P project to burn everything to the ground and move to Nova Scotia, but I certainly feel the temptation to stay very quiet about all project progress when there isn't actually much of any progress. It stings to tell a boss "so I've learned a lot but have nothing really tangible to show for it...yet" because you know that they heard everything before the ellipsis and nothing after it.
But I worked in customer service, dudes and dudettes. My skin's about as thick as it gets (unless someone I care about tells me something sucks, then I just immolate and reincarnate under a pseudonym). So, here's what I did this month:
- Artwork for a project on an engine I've abandoned.
- A crapload of learning how to make object A to transition to spot A1 and cause reaction B1 and B3, but not B2.
- Split my ideas between two separate engines.
- Been gifted a feast of potato and cheesecake.
- Tried some new hot sauces.
- Took a few photos and videos for inspiration.
And while that's not strictly all I've done this month, that does genuinely feel like a great summary. I found the box I wanted, tossed it in the trash, then retrieved it from the trash to use as a coffee table.
That means that this last month of the Christian calendar will be an utter delight for yours truly to piss away watching carpet cleaning videos. Between that, I really do think I'm still on track to hit my goals after trimming some fat and realizing how much better life will be when I just get some prototypes off the ground.
So as I miss my own month's worth of life I'll never get back, I'm now more confident, more capable, and more full of carpet cleaning videos in order to move 3-4 projects ahead instead of just one or two.
At the end of the month/into next month, I foresee a great resurgence in writing as well, and I'll make sure my next update contains more of that craft. For now, it's back into the beyond to observe obscure weather patterns and how they react to Unreal Engine's very odd variable fragility.
This website uses marketing and tracking technologies. Opting out of this will opt you out of all cookies, except for those needed to run the website. Note that some products may not work as well without tracking cookies.Opt Out of Cookies