Simple Review - The Sexy Brutale

In a world before mask wearing was the new breathing-without-complications, The Sexy Brutale made it sexy.

Masks are for quitters and catchers. I would never do something to obscure my identity. On the internet. Where identities are tossed and slammed like pogs.

Using masks for secret 1000-piece puzzle parties seems absurd. And yet, if I understand The Sexy Brutale correctly, that’s exactly what’s happening.

Adventure-style games can come in many different forms. You have your Telltale Games that abuse workforces to churn out fancy digital comic books. You have others that I never played as a child. Then you have murderous, time-hopping mysteries.

That is a genre of distasteful TV show, not usually a smash video game hit. Your small character will push his tiny legs between rooms, peering through keyholes and around corners to eavesdrop and prevent the toe-tapping murders about to take place. Too bad they’re all happening simultaneously and you can only save one. Oh well. This is life--

WRONG!

You use your stopwatch from hell to roll back the clock, pissing into the face of an unloving god as you show him the same respect as a natural disaster running into an orphanage at 1000000 miles per hour. You want to remove that soul from that body, god? Fuck no. Your little bishop of death can go to the back of the line, awaiting my merciful permission to run his little-dick scythe across a choice throat. Oh you think this is loathing? You don’t know what it’s like to--

Satisfaction attained.

​Stopping a murder with your anti-murder is equally satisfying. There are items that one collections and keeps, even as the day spins back to the top of the hour. These items can stop a gun or jam a lock. Simple, Makulley Kulkin style hijinks that make one feel far more ethereal. Just like in Home Alone 4; Ruler of Time.

The musical accompaniments make The Sexy Brutal feel...out of time. In a good way. In a sweet way. In a sorrow-filled, lounge-singer sort of way. The cool jazz flavor tickles your throat even as the game’s ambitions rise like a C-note. This blends with the simple, vibrant, sexy color scheme to arouse both of my thumbs straight up.

The Sexy Brutale is not the most faithful adaptation to Eyes Wide Shut I’ve seen. But, it has the moxy, the jazzy, and the mask-y fun we all need in our lives. 986 puzzle pieces out of 1000.

If anyone would like to see me livestream a 1000 piece puzzle construction, in total silence, inside of a white void, I...invite you to see this preview.

Scintillating.

You...are welcome.